There’s something wonderfully British about a heatwave.
For months, we complain that it’s too cold, too wet and too grey. Then the temperature climbs into the high twenties and, within about 24 hours, we’re complaining that it’s too hot.
The fans come out.
The barbecue gets dusted off.
The supermarket shelves empty of ice cream.
And suddenly nobody can remember how to sleep.
Britain isn’t exactly famous for its ability to deal with extreme heat, so how do you survive when your home, car and workplace all seem to have turned into saunas?
Close the curtains
It might seem strange to shut out the sunshine when you’re desperate for some light, but keeping direct sunlight out can help stop rooms heating up.
Close curtains or blinds on windows that get direct sun, particularly during the hottest part of the day.
Then open them again when the temperature outside starts to drop.
Make friends with the fan
The humble electric fan suddenly becomes the most valuable item in the house.
Put it near an open window when the air outside is cooler and use it to move air around the room.
Just don’t spend three hours arguing with someone about whose bedroom gets the fan overnight.
That’s how families fall apart.
Don’t forget the water
When it’s hot, keeping hydrated becomes even more important.
Keep a bottle or glass of water nearby and remember to drink regularly throughout the day.
If you’re heading out, take water with you rather than relying on finding somewhere to buy it.
Choose your clothes wisely
This is not the time for three layers, thick jumpers and heavy trousers.
Loose, lightweight clothing can make hot weather considerably more bearable.
And if you’re heading outside, remember that looking cool and actually being cool are two completely different things.
Find the coolest room
Some houses have one room that stays noticeably cooler than the rest.
It might be downstairs, north-facing or simply blessed with better ventilation.
If the rest of the house feels like a greenhouse, make yourself comfortable there.
Think carefully about the oven
Turning on the oven during a heatwave can make the kitchen feel like a small industrial furnace.
If you can, choose meals that don’t require much cooking.
Salads, sandwiches, cold meats, fruit and other lighter options can be welcome when you’re already struggling with the temperature.
And yes, this is an excellent excuse for an ice cream.
Be sensible outside
If you’re heading out during a hot day, try to avoid spending too much time in direct sunshine during the hottest part of the day.
Look for shade, wear suitable clothing and use sun protection.
A British heatwave isn’t the time to discover how quickly you can turn the colour of a tomato.
The car is another story
A parked car can become extremely hot surprisingly quickly.
Never leave children, vulnerable people or pets in a parked car, even for what seems like a short time.
Before setting off, give the car a chance to cool down and make sure everyone has access to water.
Pets need looking after too
Dogs and other pets can struggle in hot weather.
Make sure they have access to fresh water and somewhere cool and shaded.
And remember that pavements can become extremely hot in direct sunshine, which can make walks uncomfortable or dangerous for dogs.
Sometimes an early morning or evening walk is a much better option.
Getting through the night
Sleeping during a heatwave can be one of the biggest challenges.
Light bedding can help, as can keeping the bedroom shaded during the day.
A cool shower before bed may also help you feel more comfortable.
And if the fan is running all night, try not to stare at it wondering whether it is actually making the room cooler.
You need the sleep.
Keep an eye on other people
Heat can affect everyone, but some people are more vulnerable to its effects.
Check in on elderly relatives, neighbours or anyone you know who might struggle in extreme temperatures.
A quick phone call or visit could make a real difference.
Accept that Britain has forgotten how to cope
There will be arguments about whether it’s “proper hot”.
Someone will announce that it’s “too hot for this”.
Someone else will claim they’re perfectly comfortable while sitting directly in the sunshine.
The barbecue will be fired up despite the fact that nobody actually wants a hot meal.
And social media will be full of photographs of thermometers.
That’s all part of the British heatwave experience.
But underneath the jokes, the important thing is to stay sensible.
Keep cool, drink plenty of water, look after yourself and check on those around you.
And enjoy it while it lasts.
Because, let’s face it, in Britain we’ll probably be talking about how cold it is again before too long.
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