British Weather Complaints We All Make

If there’s one thing that unites Britain, it’s talking about the weather.

We might disagree on football teams, politics and whether pineapple belongs on pizza, but when it comes to discussing the weather, we’re all on the same page.

In fact, complaining about the weather may well be our national sport.

The funny thing is we’re never entirely happy with it, no matter what it’s doing.

Here are some of the classic British weather complaints we all make.

“It’s Too Hot”

The sun appears.

Temperatures climb above 25°C.

For approximately 48 hours we’re delighted.

Then the complaints begin.

“It’s too hot to sleep.”

“It’s too hot to work.”

“It’s too hot on the train.”

We spend months wishing for sunshine, then immediately start longing for autumn.

“It’s Too Cold”

Of course, when winter arrives we reverse our position completely.

“It’s freezing.”

“I can’t feel my hands.”

“Roll on summer.”

The British weather complaint cycle is remarkably efficient.

“We Need Some Rain”

This usually happens after a dry spell.

Lawns start looking a little brown.

Gardeners become concerned.

People begin saying:

“We could do with some rain.”

Within 24 hours it arrives.

“Not This Much Rain”

The moment it actually starts raining, the complaints resume.

Because what we really meant was a light shower overnight.

Not three days of relentless drizzle.

“It’s Not The Heat, It’s The Humidity”

A phrase heard every summer.

Nobody is entirely sure what humidity is.

But we know it’s responsible.

“Typical, The Weather’s Changed”

Particularly common during weekends, bank holidays and outdoor events.

After five sunny weekdays, Saturday arrives with cloud and rain.

Someone will inevitably say:

“Typical.”

“You Don’t Know What To Wear”

A genuine challenge.

You leave home wearing a coat.

An hour later you’re carrying it.

By lunchtime you’re wishing you’d brought sunglasses.

By the evening you’re cold again.

All in the same day.

“It’s Too Nice To Be At Work”

One of Britain’s favourite workplace observations.

Usually made while staring longingly out of a window on a sunny afternoon.

“It’s Going To Be A Long Winter”

Often declared in October.

Sometimes before the clocks have even changed.

Nobody knows for sure.

But we’ll say it anyway.

“The Forecast Got It Wrong Again”

A classic.

Weather forecasting is an incredibly complex science.

Yet if rain arrives 20 minutes earlier than expected, we’ll confidently declare the forecast useless.

“The Garden Needs It”

The standard response whenever it rains after a dry spell.

Even if the speaker doesn’t actually have a garden.

“It’s Too Windy”

Britain experiences approximately three breezy days per year before someone declares it impossible to go outside.

Bins fall over.

Trampolines relocate.

The complaint is justified.

“Summer Was Better When We Were Kids”

A favourite among Gen Xers.

Every generation seems convinced that summers were:

Hotter
Longer
Sunnier

Back when they were growing up.

Whether that’s true or not is another matter.

“It’s Too Bright”

Perhaps the most British complaint of all.

After months of dark mornings and gloomy afternoons, the sun finally arrives.

Someone immediately says:

“Ooh, it’s a bit bright.”

“At Least It’s Not Snowing”

The emergency weather perspective reset.

No matter how bad the weather gets, somebody will point out that it could be worse.

Usually followed by stories about the winter of 1963.

Why We Love Talking About The Weather

Weather is Britain’s favourite conversation starter because it’s something everyone experiences.

It doesn’t matter where you’re from or what you do.

Everyone has an opinion on the weather.

It’s safe.
It’s relatable.
And it gives us something to talk about while waiting for the kettle to boil.

Deep down, most of us quite enjoy it.

After all, if Britain ever had perfect weather, what would we complain about?

The Big Question

What’s your most-used weather complaint?