Why We Have Favourites: The Theory Behind What We Love

Why do we love certain songs, TV shows, foods, or even people more than others? Why do some movies never get old while others fade from memory? Psychologists, neuroscientists, and behavioural researchers have spent decades trying to answer this question—and while there’s no single formula, there are fascinating theories that explain how our favourites are formed.

1. Early Exposure Shapes Our Preferences

One of the most powerful factors is what we encounter early in life. The songs we hear in our teenage years, the shows we binge on after school, or the foods we grew up eating often leave lasting impressions. Gen Xers, for example, still hum tracks from The Cure, Madonna, or Nirvana decades later. Early exposure creates familiarity, and our brains naturally gravitate toward the familiar—it feels safe, comforting, and satisfying.

2. Emotional Connections Make Things Stick

We often develop favourites because of the emotions they trigger. A song can remind us of a first date, a family holiday, or a life-changing moment. That emotional association makes the experience more memorable and more meaningful. The stronger the feelings, the more likely we are to keep that song, film, or memory at the top of our list.

3. The Role of Repetition

Repetition is a simple but powerful factor. When we engage with something repeatedly, our brains release dopamine—a feel-good chemical. That’s why songs you play over and over become staples, why certain TV episodes are “comfort viewing,” and why we often return to the same hobbies. Over time, repeated exposure can turn something we like into something we love.

4. Social Influence Shapes What We Prefer

Humans are social creatures. Friends, family, and cultural trends influence our favourites. If everyone in your circle is obsessed with a particular movie, game, or band, you’re more likely to enjoy it too. Social validation reinforces preference—it’s not just about what we like individually, but what feels shared, familiar, and “right” within our social group.

5. Novelty vs Comfort

Interestingly, favourites often balance novelty and comfort. We like things that surprise us, challenge us, or stand out—but we also gravitate toward what feels reliable and familiar. That’s why certain songs from the 80s or 90s remain beloved—they combine the thrill of memory with the comfort of familiarity.

6. Personal Identity and Choice

Finally, our favourites help define who we are. The books we love, the films we watch repeatedly, even the snacks we always reach for, signal something about our personality. Favourites aren’t just arbitrary—they reflect our values, experiences, and identity. Choosing what we love is part of constructing a life story that feels uniquely ours.

Why Understanding Favourites Matters

Knowing why we develop favourites isn’t just interesting—it’s useful. It explains why certain music, food, or media trends endure across generations, why nostalgia is so powerful, and why we return again and again to the things that make us feel good.

So next time you find yourself humming a song you haven’t heard in decades, watching a show for the tenth time, or reaching for a comfort snack, remember: it’s not random. Your favourites are a reflection of your history, your emotions, and your very human brain.